When I was growing up, that uncommon name my parents assigned me invited endless, unwanted, hackneyed, tiresome taunts from children and adults alike. "Where's your brothers Simon and Theodore? he heh heh...." Yeah, charming, real clever. 9 out of 10 of people that I'd meet for the first time would immediately rattle that off, or even worse, sing the ditty. Annoying as that was it proved a reliable, instant douchebag detector. In any case what a crappy cartoon that was. Fucking falsetto warbling vermin, those chipmunks were the bane of my childhood. I hadn't thought of those guys much recently until the billboards started popping up everywhere, freakish! There's even one aroun d the corner, just a-block-and-a-half away from BP headquarters on the corner of Market and West Macarthur, above our beloved 'Easy Liquor' convenience store. Yesterday, on the way to the post office I decided to climb the beast. Yup there I am--if you look real close in the picture above, on the billboard, you can see the egomaniac jumping around (also note the woman with the pink coat entering the store, click on the photo for a larger view).
While up there I'm dancing around like a jackass posing for the camera and enjoying the view, man what a view! Down below a lady drives up, gets out of her car, and I see her exchange some words with Jordan and Beth (my conspirators.) She then calls up:
Woman in pink coat: "Hey Alvin"
Woman in pink coat: "You just playin' right? ...I mean, if you gonna jump, wait 'til I'm gone."
She continued into the store.
When finished with her business, as she's exiting brown bag in hand, I'm awkwardly making my descent.
I hear her laughing and taunting.
Woman in pink coat: "Howda hell you get up there with all that junk in your trunk?! ...with that bubble butt? Ha!"
At least she didn't sing that damn song. Oh I love Oakland.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Posted by Alvin Buenaventura at 9:57 AM